Don’t Waste Your Wisdom on a Brick Wall (Proverbs 23:9)

August 4, 2026 / taethne / Leave a comment

There’s a particular kind of exhaustion that settles in after you’ve spent twenty minutes explaining something perfectly reasonable to someone who responds as if you just suggested they try seasoning their coffee with motor oil. You know the feeling. Your words were clear. Your logic was sound. And yet the other person stares back at you with the blank confidence of a man who has never once been wrong in his entire life.

Solomon saw this coming three thousand years ago. In Proverbs 23:9 he offers one of the most merciful pieces of advice in all of Scripture: “Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, for he will despise the good sense of your words.”

In other words, stop throwing your carefully prepared pearls into a blender set to “puree.”

Wisdom Isn’t for Everyone’s Ears

The book of Proverbs is not shy about fools. A fool, in biblical terms, is not merely someone who lacks information. A fool is someone who has already decided that wisdom is optional. He has closed the door, locked it, and then nailed a “Do Not Disturb” sign over the keyhole for good measure. Trying to reason with him is like trying to teach a cat algebra. The cat isn’t impressed, and you end up looking slightly ridiculous.

Jesus Himself echoed the same principle when He warned, “Do not throw your pearls before pigs” (Matthew 7:6). It’s not that the pearls aren’t valuable. It’s that some creatures will only trample them—and then turn on you for the trouble.

This is not a call to arrogance or spiritual superiority. It’s a call to stewardship. Your words, your time, and your emotional energy are gifts from God. He never asked you to pour them into soil that has already declared itself infertile.

A Little Humor Helps the Medicine Go Down

Let’s be honest: most of us have played the part of the hopeful gardener more times than we care to admit. We’ve stayed up late drafting the perfect text. We’ve rehearsed the gentle, Spirit-led conversation in the shower. We’ve entered the discussion armed with Bible verses, personal stories, and the earnest belief that this time it will land.

And then the other person replies with something like, “Yeah, but my uncle once knew a guy…” and the entire conversation collapses into a black hole of irrelevance.

At that moment, Proverbs 23:9 is less a stern warning and more a kind older brother putting a hand on your shoulder and saying, “Buddy… walk away. The pizza’s getting cold.”

Practical Application for Real Life

So how do we live this out without becoming cold or unloving?

Pause and discern. Before you launch into a passionate explanation, ask a quiet question: “Is this person actually open, or am I just hoping they will be?” Openness often shows itself in questions, soft eyes, or a willingness to say “I don’t know.” Hostility, mockery, or endless deflection are usually signs that the door is shut.
Protect your peace. You are not obligated to attend every argument you are invited to. Sometimes the most Christlike thing you can do is smile, change the subject, or simply leave the group chat on mute. Silence is not defeat; it is often wisdom wearing work boots.
Keep praying, keep living. Refusing to argue does not mean you stop caring. Continue to pray for the person. Continue to live with quiet integrity. Seeds can still grow when the gardener isn’t standing over them shouting instructions. God is remarkably good at working in the places where our words have been refused.
Save the good stuff for hungry hearts. There are people who will listen—friends who lean in, coworkers who ask honest questions, children who still believe adults might know something. Pour your energy there. The harvest is better when the soil is ready.

Proverbs 23:9 is not permission to write people off forever. Hearts can soften. Fools can become wise. But until that happens, you are free to stop bruising your knuckles against a locked door.

So the next time you feel the familiar urge to explain one more time, take a breath, remember Solomon’s advice, and go find someone who actually wants to hear it. Your wisdom is precious. Treat it that way.

And if all else fails, there’s always pizza.

The Fear of the Lord

March 3, 2014 / taethne

Proverbs 1:7 states that “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom (knowledge)”. In almost all discussions in church classes about this verse it becomes clear that people have been taught that the word fear means “reverential respect.” I beg to disagree. In Matthew 10:28 Jesus said, “Don’t be afraid of those who want to kill your body; they cannot touch your soul. Fear only God, who can destroy both soul and body in hell”. If the people being addressed were believers, it might be appropriate to use the reverential respect meaning. For an unbeliever, a fear (terror) of a holy God who judges righteously would be the beginning of wisdom. If a person has no fear of ultimate judgment, why would they contemplate salvation? If hell is not a real option, a consequence of not allowing Jesus to be the Lord of one’s life, why worry about an afterlife? The Bible uses the word fear (with reference to God) over 300 times. In quite the majority of those uses, fear means “to be terrified.” The lack of fearing God (according to Romans 3:18) is one of mankind’s chief sins.

For believers, we are told in 1 John 4:18 that “perfect love casts out fear.” How many of us love perfectly? And if fear is just reverential respect, why would perfect love cast it out? William Eisenhower wrote an article for Christianity Today about fearing God. One sentence of his article stands out: “Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, but love from the Lord is its completion.” We are to fear God’s holiness. We get to experience His mercy and grace. I can go boldly into His presence and obtain mercy from Him, not punishment because of my relationship with His Son. I never presume upon it, though. There are times when He withholds complete mercy. Moses is not allowed into the Promised Land. Ananais and Sapphira are struck dead. So is Uzziah. Believers in Corinth also are put in the grave early. Some mercy is still granted – their soul’s security is still guaranteed. Grace is given in that they did not deserve to enter into His presence. I promise you, though, the early church and the Israelites in the desert feared God with more than reverential respect.

It could be that in many churches our people have lost the fear of serving a holy God and that is why the church looks and feels just like the world. It could be the reason so many churches are powerless and have lost their witness. Without a wholesome fear of God, people will not repent of their sins, and repentance is necessary for the remission of sin. I fear God. I don’t serve Him out of fear, I do it out of gratitude for the salvation He has wrought in my heart, but I also fear Him. He is a God who expects holiness and who has high standards of conduct for His people. He also provides His Spirit to direct and guide and empower us to accomplish His will in His way. I believe that we need to teach that it is proper to fear a God who can destroy both body and soul in hell. It will wake up a lost and dying world and keep those awake from presumptuous sins.