Proverbs 10:10 has the energy of a parent watching you across the dinner table after you “accidentally” start something. In the NIV it reads:

“Whoever winks maliciously causes grief, and a chattering fool comes to ruin.”

Some translations keep the second half as the fool who talks himself into a ditch. Others, following a different ancient reading, say a bold, honest rebuke actually makes peace. Either way, Solomon is not impressed with our secret signals or our unfiltered monologues.

The wink in this verse is not the friendly “you’ve got this” wink. It is the sideways glance that says, Did you hear that? Watch this. We both know what I mean. It is the ancient version of the group-chat reaction, the raised eyebrow in a meeting, the “just between us” look that turns another person into the punchline. It feels clever in the moment. It feels like belonging. It usually leaves someone else carrying the ache.

That is the first half of the warning: hidden malice is not harmless. It may look small. It is not small to the person it lands on.

Then comes the chattering fool. If the wink is too little communication, this is way too much. This is the person who cannot leave a quiet room alone. They explain, defend, decorate, and keep talking until the truth has left the building and taken the dignity with it. The wink hides the scheme. The babbling mouth announces the scheme, plus three extra theories, a personal grievance, and an unhelpful story from 2014.

Solomon’s point is almost funny in its fairness: you can wreck a room by saying too little with your eyes, or by saying far too much with your mouth. The sly person hurts others. The noisy fool often takes themselves down with them. Neither one is the hero of the story.

The better way is less cinematic and more adult. Say the true thing without the secret code. If something is wrong, name it kindly and out loud instead of recruiting an audience with your eyelids. If you do not know, stop talking before the sentence becomes a monument to your uncertainty. Peace rarely comes from a wink. It more often comes from a clear sentence spoken without a smirk.

This proverb is not asking you to become blunt and joyless. It is asking you to stop treating other people like a private joke.

A few questions to sit with

When I “just joke,” is anyone actually laughing besides me? Is there a person I communicate about more than I communicate with? What would change if I replaced one sly look this week with one honest, gentle sentence? Where do I talk too much because I am nervous, proud, or trying to control the room? Who has been on the receiving end of my winks, and do I owe them a clearer word?

A wink can feel like power. Loose words can feel like personality. Proverbs 10:10 shrugs at both and says, That is how grief gets into the house. Better to look people in the eye, speak plainly, and leave the secret signals for people who do not mind the cleanup.