A Heart Hungry To Worship Part 2

/ taethne

Years ago I published a book, A Heart Hungry to Worship, (available on Amazon) that focused on relating the stories of Biblical characters to people I have encountered in my ministry. For 2024 I would like to upload a chapter at a time to encourage people. Below is the first chapter from the book. Yet, if he would, man cannot live all to this world. If not religious, he will be superstitious. If he worships not the true God, he will have his idols.[1]

Chapter 1

Sheila and Maggie’s Stories

            Sheila is a creative, vibrant woman in her mid-twenties who is the new owner of her own art gallery. Response in the first few months has been better than expected, but her expectations were not high to begin with.

Sheila is grateful for a chance to start her life over, given that she almost ruined it during her high school years. Known as a wild party girl, Sheila led a life filled with alcohol, drugs and numerous boyfriends. Finding herself pregnant after graduation shocked her. She got an abortion before anyone knew she was pregnant. To her surprise, the experience was not as easy or painless as she believed it would be. The scarring caused by the procedure rendered her incapable of bearing children; nightmares still haunt her sleep two or three times each week.

Her parents are distant. Her mother is an alcoholic, wrapped up in her own miseries, while her father, disgusted by her behavior in high school, has pretty much disowned her. Sheila knows her lifestyle has to change, but the pull of friends who still view her as the party girl is strong. So is facing the continual scrutiny and gossip in her small town.

For the first time in her life, Sheila is contemplating spiritual things. She tried reading an old family Bible a few times, but she could not understand the Victorian-era English. Twice she even tried attending church. Since she had no idea what any of them believed, she tried the large church downtown first. Sheila reasoned that she would be anonymous in a large crowd.

She came away disappointed. She felt as if she had stepped into a cold marble vault. Everything was very solemn and the service was spoken in a foreign language. She did not know when to stand, sit, or when to respond. She could see that for many people it was a meaningful experience, but for her it was just confusing.

The next week she chose a nearby church that had a more modern feel about it. The atmosphere in this church was different: vibrant and alive. While the songs were unfamiliar, at least they were upbeat and the people singing them seemed happy. Then, unexpectedly, multiple people started talking loudly in what sounded to her like multiple languages.  When it reached a crescendo, Sheila was out the door, shaken and confused. Maybe a person had to learn another language to be a Christian. If that was the case, she was out of luck. The one semester of French she took in high school had been a spectacular failure.

It will be awhile before Sheila ventures to church again. Maybe, if she could go with someone who could explain what was going on, she would try. Which church would accept someone with her past, though? The people at the churches she visited already looked like they had their lives together.

Sheila feels guilty about her abortion and believes God will punish her for it. While she longs to know Him, she is deathly afraid of meeting Him because of her past actions. She has reached the point where something has to change in her life. She wonders, “Is there any hope for a person like me? Is there any way to bury the demons from my past that haunt me?”

Sheila has one last straw to which she is clinging. She has a Christian friend that has been supportive and willing to listen to her pour out her heart during late night phone calls. She has kept him at a distance because of her fear of being too vulnerable. He has offered to take her to his church sometime or even hold a Bible study with her.

Maybe, just maybe, Sheila thinks, she will be able to find answers to her questions. While she is not yet ready to visit another church, she is willing to study the Bible with someone who knows and accepts her as a person. Perhaps there is hope for someone like her. There needs to be because she does not think she can face fifty more years like her first twenty-five.

Maggie has just turned forty. A hard working single mother, Maggie has struggled with finding meaningful relationships all of her life. Maggie experienced sexual abuse, as did her older sister, by a distant relative. As is all too often in small communities, where just about everyone is somehow related, very few believed her story and those who did wanted this dirty secret covered up so as not to bring scandal or embarrassment to the family.

            Maggie married young and had two children with a man who turned out to have a problem with drugs. Not wanting to have her children raised around a drug addict, it was not long before she filed for divorce.  After their divorce, she married again, this time to a person who promised her the world but who crushed her spirit by cheating on her. After moving, with three children, to a new town in order to start over, she attempted marriage number three. This marriage started fine but quickly soured due to the suspicious and jealous nature of her husband. Verbal and emotional abuse took its toll and this marriage collapsed after only a few years.

            Maggie vowed not to marry again. She threw herself into her work and her children’s lives. After the oldest two graduated high school, she began to think about herself. She felt she deserved love but was scared and hesitant to make herself vulnerable again.

When an old boyfriend from high school came back into her life, she wondered if he was the love she had been looking for all along.

            The first month flew by. So much for taking it slow, she was falling head over heels in love. He seemed to care about her and her children. He was attentive and caring. Then he got drunk and physically abusive one night and her world shattered, again. “Never again!” she vowed, would she allow herself to open up to anyone who would hurt her. Deep down, though, Maggie still desired to be loved and to love back. Her fear is that her desire for love will open herself up to hurt again.

            Maggie has one philosophy that she believes in: “Everything happens for a reason.” She just cannot grasp the reason behind what has happened to her. “Why was I abused?” ” Why has every marriage failed?” “Why have all my relationships fallen apart when I try so hard?” “When will I ever find love?”

            Maggie thinks of God from time to time. She believes in God, at least the little she has heard about Him. She has only been to church a few times in her life, mostly for funerals. What she believes about God is that He is a person worth knowing, someone who is perfect and holy and who expects His followers to be that way. She doesn’t feel she would qualify to be a follower because of her past failures. She doesn’t believe that God would want anything to do with her. Maggie lives without hope and truly believes she will spend life after death in hell; “After all,” she thinks, “It cannot be much worse than the life I am living now.”

            Deep down she would like a relationship she can count on, but she is so terrified of being disappointed again that she is not even willing to give God a chance to initiate one with her.

            Maggie and Sheila’s stories are not unique. In fact, their stories are of people I know and work with who have had similar life experiences. I count them as my friends but I have yet to penetrate the shields they have erected around their lives.

            I long to offer them the hope they so desperately need but are afraid to accept. We talk often, especially when crisis happens in their life. They know they need help beyond that which humans can offer, but they are not ready to ask God. Their reasoning is simple: “God is my only hope and if He lets me down, I truly have nothing and no one left.”

            The Bible contains the story of a person just like Maggie and Sheila. With a past that haunts her, this woman finds herself constantly entering one failed relationship after another. A woman who is desperate to find love, who wants to believe that God can love her, but who struggles to make sense of the world she finds herself in. Let us look at her story.

[1] Theodore Parker, The Transient and the Permanent

A Heart Hungry To Worship

/ taethne

Years ago I published a book, A Heart Hungry to Worship, (available on Amazon) that focused on relating the stories of Biblical characters to people I have encountered in my ministry. For 2024 I would like to upload a chapter at a time to encourage people. Below is the introduction from the book.

 It is in the process of being worshipped that God communicates His presence to men.[1]

Introduction

            God created each of us with an innate desire to worship Him. You would think, then, that it should come naturally to us. Yet millions have no knowledge of who God is, so worshipping Him is impossible. Millions more are confused as to how to find Him or how to approach Him when He is found. Still others are convinced that even if they met God He would not accept worship from them. They feel so unworthy they cannot believe He would want any kind of relationship with them.

You will meet some of these people in this book. These are people like you and I, struggling to make sense of this world, convinced there is something more than what we are experiencing. People hoping against hope that someday they will have a relationship with a God they desperately want to love them, a God they crave to worship. People like Maggie, Sheila, Dinah and Renaldo who could be your neighbor, co-worker or cousin; people who long for the closeness that salvation by grace brings.

            One of the neat things about the Bible is that it contains true stories of people like this – like us! People who are desperately seeking to be found by God but do not know where to start. They are people like the Ethiopian eunuch in the book of Acts or the Samaritan woman in John’s gospel. They are people who have a desire to worship God but are confused how that worship comes about.

            I tell their stories in the pages ahead. Stories about those who God is drawing into a relationship they desire but are scared to enter. Those who the Holy Spirit has begun drawing but have not quite arrived. Those whose hearts are hungry to worship the One True Living God.

[1] C.S. Lewis, Reflections on the Psalms

God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen

/ taethne

God rest ye merry, gentlemen – a timely Christmas carol for 2020. The phrase “God rest ye merry” was a common greeting in the 15th and 16th centuries, roughly meaning “May God fill you with joy”. How? How are we to be filled with joy in such a time as ours?

2020 has devastated almost everyone I know – friends, family, co-workers, fellow business owners. The year that started with such dreams, hopes and promises has long since crashed and burned. Many have lost loved ones, not just to the virus but to depression and despair. Many have seen their livelihoods ripped away by draconian regulations. Others have seen dreams postponed, put away or simply crushed by this dystopian age we are living in. How can we have joy?

Because in the darkness there has shone a great light. That is a common motif in the Bible. The world is presented as dark and disturbed, a place where the wicked flourish and the righteous struggle against overwhelming odds. The whole Christmas story is set against this background. The Savior is sent into the world to set captives free, to shine a great light and banish darkness, to lift up the fallen, bruised and weary. We can rest merry because we remember that into this world Christ our Savior has come to save us all from Satan’s power. That is tidings of comfort and joy. We have not been left alone, helpless against the darkness. We have hope in Jesus Christ.

In the song “o Holy Night” there is this line – “a thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn”. Now, perhaps, there is no better time to dust off the old carols and pay attention to the lyrics. Hope, joy, promises of peace to those who trust in Jesus – this is what Christmas is about. Into a crazy, mixed up, wreck of a world we can still find hope. We can still rest merry because our Savior reigns and will come again.

His first coming brings us assurance of His second. The world may rage and the devil howl but I can rest in the promises of Him who is faithful. I may not be able to see the light. The darkness may be too pervasive, I might be too far down into a pit of despair but the light is still there. Behind the clouds lies the sun – this I know to be true and this is clung to. “In this world you will have tribulation”, Jesus told us, “But take heart for I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

As 2020 comes to an end, 2021 doesn’t offer much hope that things will be much better. Thank God He offers that hope. It is time for us to explore once more how to find our joy in Him, to reconnect with He who made us for Himself, and to rest in Him. May God rest ye merry, gentlemen.

God rest ye merry gentlemen
Let nothing you dismay
Remember Christ our Savior
Was born on Christmas Day
To save us all from Satan’s pow’r
When we were gone astray
Oh tidings of comfort and joy
Comfort and joy
Oh tidings of comfort and joy

In Bethlehem, in Israel
This blessed Babe was born
And laid within a manger
Upon this blessed morn
The which His Mother Mary
Did nothing take in scorn
Oh tidings of comfort and joy
Comfort and joy
Oh tidings of comfort and joy

Fear not then, said the Angel
Let nothing you affright
This day is born a Savior
Of a pure Virgin bright
To free all those who trust in Him
From Satan’s pow’r and might
Oh tidings of comfort and joy
Comfort and joy
Oh tidings of comfort and joy

God rest ye merry gentlemen
Let nothing you dismay
Remember Christ our Savior
Was born on Christmas Day
To save us all from Satan’s pow’r
When we were gone astray
Oh tidings of comfort and joy
Comfort and joy
Oh tidings of comfort and joy

Gentle Mary – A Timeless Carol

/ taethne

This beautiful song was written by Joseph Cook in 1919.  Mr. Cook was born in England in 1859 but immigrated to Canada where he attended Wesleyan College and McGill University in Montreal.

The lyrics show a progression from wondering if this baby, born to peasants in humble surroundings could really be the Savior of mankind. The answer – just ask those transformed by Him.  Surely the people of Jesus’ day asked this question too. How could a baby in a manger have more power than King Herod, who ruled from nearby palaces and fortresses?

Yet in his humility, Jesus did have more power than Herod. In today’s culture, where the rich are admired and superstars are praised, Jesus is still the humble King who really deserves our adoration. No longer a stranger to the world, people from every nation and ethnic group on earth rejoice at Christmas, singing – “Praise His Name in all the earth, hail the King of glory!”

 Gentle Mary laid her Child
Lowly in a manger;
There He lay, the undefiled,
To the world a stranger:
Such a Babe in such a place,
Can He be the Savior?
Ask the saved of all the race
Who have found His favor.

Angels sang about His birth;
Wise men sought and found Him;
Heaven’s star shone brightly forth,
Glory all around Him:
Shepherds saw the wondrous sight,
Heard the angels singing;
All the plains were lit that night,
All the hills were ringing.

 Gentle Mary laid her Child
Lowly in a manger;
He is still the undefiled,
But no more a stranger:
Son of God, of humble birth,
Beautiful the story;
Praise His name in all the earth,
Hail the King of glory!

 

Light In The Darkness

/ taethne

I first wrote this 3 years ago. With all that has happened in our world since then, I felt it appropriate to repost today.

Light In The Darkness

Isaiah 50:10-11
10 Who is among you that feareth the LORD, that obeyeth the voice of his servant, that walketh in darkness, and hath no light? let him trust in the name of the LORD, and stay upon his God.11 Behold, all ye that kindle a fire, that compass yourselves about with sparks: walk in the light of your fire, and in the sparks that ye have kindled. This shall ye have of mine hand; ye shall lie down in sorrow.

There are times in our lives when, as Christians, we are called to serve God in the midst of darkness. There are times when it is difficult to see very far ahead. Like driving on a dark highway on a moonless night in the middle of a rainstorm, our lives sometimes feel as if we are going nowhere fast and we are not sure if we will make it to our destination.

It is interesting to me that many Christians desire to be “overcomers”, but do not want much to overcome. We want to go to heaven, but we do not want to die to go there. We want our faith increased, without having to rely on anyone. We want all good times, all the time, and that is simply not how life works. Life is filled with melody and misery, high times and hard times. You may be experiencing a dark time right now, what many saints of the past termed “a dark night of the soul.” You may be at a point right now where you aren’t able to make sense of what is happening in your life. There are times, seasons in our lives, where we have studied the lessons, learned our formulas, memorized the promises of the Bible and think we have it all figured out — and suddenly we are plunged into a deep, deep darkness.

What do you do when the lights go out? When deep darkness comes into your life?
It has been said that in school one learns the lessons first and tests second. In life, we take the test first and learn the lessons second. Hopefully, today you will come to see that there are lessons to be learned when the lights go out.

Who is among you that feareth the LORD, that obeyeth the voice of his servant, that walketh in darkness, and hath no light? let him trust in the name of the LORD, and stay upon his God

In this verse, the Bible is talking about a faithful servant of God. This person loves and fears God. He or she is being obedient. This is not a backslider or someone who has wandered off from God. This is an active Christian who loves the Lord and is being obedient to God’s voice, yet they are in a dark place.

There is a distorted idea out there that once a person becomes a Christian it is all honey and no bees. Not true. It rains on both the just and the unjust. There are tens of thousands of Christians who love God and are obediently serving Him who are experiencing dark times. Over a hundred thousand are martyred across the globe annually.

Job said, “God has put darkness in my path” (Job 19:8) Habakkuk exclaimed, “How long shall I cry out and you not hear?” (Hab. 1:2) John the Baptist sent messengers to Jesus from the cell in which he was imprisoned asking Him if He really was the Messiah. Each of these godly men came to a point in their life that they did not fully comprehend. They experienced a time of darkness, when they did not understand what was happening to them nor why God was allowing it.

When you are in darkness it doesn’t necessarily mean you have sinned or that you are outside of God’s will for your life. It might be that God has put you in a dark time so that His light shines brighter and you can see Him more clearly.

Faith is like film. It is developed in the dark. We grow the most spiritually when we are forced to look to Jesus alone for help. You will never know how much you need Jesus until Jesus is all you have. As Christians, we are called to live by faith – not by explanations. Our verse tells us to trust or lean on the name of the Lord. Even when tough times come. If you do not have the conviction that God is good all the time then you will not stand when darkness falls. Job said – “even if He slays me I will trust in Him.” When walking in darkness we must trust, lean on, God and His promises – which never fail.

When you are in the dark you don’t need explanations. You need God. An explanation sometimes makes things worse. Sometimes God removes all the answers to give us Himself. A relationship with Him is more important than reasons. In his blindness, John Milton wrote Paradise Lost. In prison John Bunyon wrote Pilgrim’s Progress. In exile, John wrote Revelation. In the dark, God develops our faith. Never doubt in the dark what you learned in the light. The test of our character is what we do, how we react, in the dark. God is still God when the darkness comes. He is still reigning on His throne. He still works out things for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

Some things, some truths in life, are only learned in the dark. For example, have you ever said, “the stars are out tonight?” Did you know they are out in the daytime but you cannot see them because of the sun’s brightness? There are some treasures, some beautiful things that are only revealed in the dark.

Psalm 148:3 says the stars are there to praise the Lord. Do you have a star in your darkness with which to praise God?

Here are some treasures of the dark. In the light, we see things that are near. In the dark, we see far away – light years away into outer space. We may think our brightest thoughts in the day, but we think our deepest thoughts at night. In the light, we see more clearly. In the dark, we see further. There are some aspects of our future God reveals to us in the dark. If you are praying for God to reveal to you what is next up for your life, be prepared for dark times so that He can show you things that are far off. Just ask Daniel and John about that.

Behold, all ye that kindle a fire, that compass yourselves about with sparks: walk in the light of your fire, and in the sparks that ye have kindled. This shall ye have of mine hand; ye shall lie down in sorrow.

There is a danger in the dark that Scripture warns us about. One of our most dangerous temptations is that we will be tempted to light our own fire. That is the warning of verse 11. If God has placed darkness around you, then you need to wait on God to remove it. It is better to be in the dark with God than to stand alone in man-made light. Do not ever give into despair during dark times. Darkness cannot overcome light. Remember, you don’t open a door to let darkness in. You open a door to spill out light.

If light has been removed from the situations in your life, then God, in His wisdom, has allowed it so that your faith can be developed and so that He can show you a glimpse of the future. If God is the One who has placed darkness in your path than do not be so foolish as to light your own fire. A man made fire is deceptive. It is not a sure guide to follow. God says that if we light our own fire in the middle of a God ordained darkness we will suffer.

Abraham and Sarah could not wait. Abraham created his own fire with Hagar to produce Ishmael. Untold centuries of suffering have followed his decision. Has darkness come into your life? Are you waiting on God or trying to light your own fire?
Even in the darkest of nights the sun will still rise and chase it away. Eventually God’s light will shine again and the lessons you learn in the dark will last for all eternity. You will see things and know truths that you had never seen or known before. Weeping may endure for a night says Psalm 30:5, but joy will come in the morning.

Remember this, when you are walking on a sunny day, feeling the warmth of the sun’s rays, those rays are 8.3 minutes old when they reach your face. Even though you feel the sun’s warmth, you have never experienced its full intensity. The sun’s surface temperature is approximately 10,000° F. Its inner core is in excess of 27,000,000 °F.(https://www.space.com/17137-how-hot-is-the-sun.html) You have felt her warmth but not her intensity.

Likewise, we can feel the warmth of God’s presence but we haven’t experienced the full intensity of His glory yet. There is coming a day when we will, but now we only see a fraction of it. When the lights go out God is still there, shining. He wants to give you a star to praise Him more. Our trials become stars in order to praise the Lord. When the lights go out, develop your faith, lean on the Lord, trust in Him and you will see further than you ever have before.