“Dear God, 
I am so afraid to open my clenched fists! 
Who will I be when I have nothing left to hold on to? 
Who will I be when I stand before you with empty hands? 
Please help me to gradually open my hands 
and to discover that I am not what I own, 
but what you want to give me.”[1]

Chapter 5

Renaldo and Lance’s Stories

            Renaldo rode his bicycle to work, head down against the brisk, chill wind. He mentally beat himself up for driving with a suspended license the week before. It certainly was stupid, but it beat biking to work in the winter. If only he had paid more attention to the cop who was behind him, maybe he wouldn’t be freezing this morning.

            Renaldo was very good at his construction job, which was the only reason his boss kept him on. He had numerous run-ins with the law; DUI’s, fights in bars, drunk and disorderly conduct, etc. When sober, Renaldo did great work; his skills at carpentry and mason work were second-to-none. When he drank, it was a different story.

            Twice married, he was involved in an on-again, off-again relationship with a girl he had dated back in high school, twenty years earlier. The relationship was off now and instead of living at her house, Renaldo had only a little camper that he pulled with his pick-up. 

While he loved construction work, most places in town wouldn’t employ him anymore. Too many work days missed because he was in jail for something or other (most times he couldn’t remember what he was charged with) too many fights with co-workers after hours;  all of these things limited the number of companies which were willing to hire him. His current employer used him on only the most difficult jobs, on a contract basis.

Renaldo reflected on his life as he rode. He wondered how it had turned out this way. He remembered his grandmother; she had passed away last year and he still missed her, terribly. She had raised him from the age of four until he had dropped out of high school and married at sixteen.

“If ever there was a saint,” he mused, “It was grandmother.” She had made sure to take him with her to church and Sunday School every week. He remembered how he had chafed as a teenager, sitting on those hard wood benches as the preacher droned on and on in a monotone voice. Something must have stuck with him, though. He could still remember songs from Sunday School, making crafts at the summer Bible School and somewhere in his camper was the little New Testament he received as a prize for memorizing Scripture verses.

He thought of his grandmother’s last few days. He sat in her room at the nursing home for a week straight, afraid that if he left even for a little while that she would die before he returned. He also thought of the young pastor, about his age, which had spent almost as much time with her as he had. It was obvious that he was close to her as well. Renaldo remembered his grandmother’s last night. Weakly, but distinctly, he heard her say the words to her favorite hymn repeatedly.

He also remembered that he had promised her that he would go back to church. It was time, he resolved, to keep his promise. He would go to his grandmother’s church to honor her memory. Renaldo hoped it would not be as boring as he remembered.

The next Sunday Renaldo showed up for the morning service. He wore his best clothes – jeans that were not too faded and a shirt he had picked up at the Salvation Army thrift store. He felt out of place at first, but then he saw many older people whom he remembered as his grandmother’s friends. He even saw his old Sunday School teacher, who not only remembered him but also welcomed him warmly and invited him to sit next to her.

The thing that struck him the most about the service was the sermon. The pastor was not boring. In fact, he talked about the struggles various people encountered in life and how the Bible talked about Jesus’ promise to be with his followers through their struggles. He was surprised to hear this, since he thought Christians didn’t have (or weren’t supposed to have) problems.

After the service, the pastor asked him how he was doing and expressed how much he missed Renaldo’s grandmother. Before he realized it, Renaldo accepted an invitation to dinner with the pastor’s family later in the week. “Great,” he thought, “He will badger me about Jesus and stuff.” Still, a promise was a promise and Renaldo did his best to keep his promises.

At dinner that Thursday night, Renaldo was surprised to find he was having fun. The pastor’s wife had fixed a simple meal but to Renaldo it tasted better than what he usually heated up on his camp stove. It turned out that the family played board games at suppertime and Renaldo was invited to play with them. After supper, the kids went off to do their chores while the pastor and Renaldo sat on the porch with coffee.

“Here it comes,” he thought, “Now is the time for the Jesus speech.” Instead, the pastor shared his memories of his grandmother and Renaldo responded with his own. As the evening ended, the pastor invited Roberto to drop by anytime he needed to talk, wanted a home-cooked meal or just to hang out. As they walked to the door, the pastor told Renaldo that his grandmother had prayed for him every day. “Every day she prayed you would come back to church. I believe she is very happy to see you come back as she watches from heaven.”

Renaldo lay in his camper that night and decided that he’d go back to church on Sunday. The people were nice, no one looked down on him and he really liked how the pastor’s family treated him. If that is how Christians acted, maybe becoming one wasn’t such a bad thing after all. He would have to give it some serious thought.

As the months went by, Renaldo continued to attend the services at the church. Various members of the church hired him to do construction work on the side, which really helped him to financially get ahead a little bit. He volunteered to help with the sound system, as it allowed him to attend services but keep his distance by being sequestered in the sound room. A church leader even asked him to participate in church activities, to help chaperone some teenage boys on a trip. At first, he protested, saying he wouldn’t be a good role model because of the troubles in his past. They told him that was exactly what would make a good chaperone. With him on guard, none of the kids would be able to get by with anything because he already knew all the tricks. Little by little, Renaldo was drawn into the life of the church.

Slowly, Renaldo came to realize that more than anything, he wanted a life like the people in the church, and one like his grandmother had lived. One Sunday morning he surprised himself by walking up to the pastor and saying, “I am ready to stop running my life my way. All I do is mess it up. I want Jesus to take control of it.”

Renaldo had finally found what he had been searching for in his life. God had drawn Renaldo and his life would never be the same. I know this, because I was the young pastor that ministered to Renaldo.

While he still has a way to go in dealing with the consequences of his past actions, Renaldo does not have to face them alone anymore. The Holy Spirit continues to draw Renaldo into a closer relationship with God, who cares about him, and a closer relationship with a church family who is willing to help.

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Lance was a long-time member of our church. He had been there years prior to my becoming pastor, though much about him remained a mystery. Lance would attend for a few weeks and then disappear for months at a time. When he showed back up, he was always living at a different address and recently employed at either a menial job or unemployed.

For years, the church had been generous to Lance. Both corporately and individually, the church members helped him financially, found jobs for him and even bought him furniture and food. He was always appreciative and grateful. Lance promised each time to repay those who had helped him, but no one ever expected him to. It seemed that he was just one of those people, who tried hard, but could never get ahead. Everyone liked him, but no one really knew anything about Lance. He kept his personal life private, even though many people made the effort to get to know him better.

One fall, Lance attended a series of revival services at church. The Holy Spirit did a mighty work on him that evening. Lance stood in the back, tears running down his face during the closing song. Before the service could end, he came to the front of the sanctuary and asked if he could address the church for a few minutes. The story he shared with us that night stunned everyone in the building.

Lance confessed to the church that he had been scamming them for years. He was actually pretty well off, financially. The reason for his disappearances for weeks at a time was that he went to Alaska and Canada to work. Sometimes, he would work on fishing vessels, other times in the oil fields. He confessed that he made very good money. In between jobs, he would come back home and rent a place to live by the week. While he didn’t need money, he said that it was just so easy to ask the church for help, knowing that they would oblige. The money and food he kept, furniture and other clothes he sold for even more money.

Lance went on to say that until that night, he had never felt a minute of regret for taking advantage of the church’s generosity. He went on to say that he was sorry, that God’s Spirit had convicted him of his thieving and lying, and that he had asked forgiveness from God. Now, he was wondering, could the church forgive him?

There was a silence across the congregation for almost a full minute as his words sunk in. One could see people struggling to process what they had just heard. Finally, hemmed in by people on both sides of his seat, Doug rose up. He had given Lance a lot of money over the years.  Not waiting for those around him to let him out of the row, Doug climbed over the pews and made his way forward. Lance visibly flinched, expecting the worse. Instead, he found the best.

Grabbing him in a hug, Doug publically forgave him. He rejoiced that God had reached Lance’s heart and changed it. The rest of the church was not far behind. Lance experienced the cleansing power of forgiveness that night. He was welcomed into the fellowship of his church family again. His heart became free to worship God, as the bonds of his sinful actions were broken. He was drawn back to God by the convicting power of the Holy Spirit, much like the famous story of the Prodigal Son, found in Luke, chapter 15.

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[1] Henry Nouwen, The Only Necessary Thing: Living a Praying Life