Month: January 2024

A Heart Hungry To Worship Part 15

/ taethne

This is the final installation in this series. Hopefully God has been able to use this to draw you into a closer relationship with Him.

Worship is not about us and how we feel; it is about giving God the honor due His name. His Word, not our feelings, define that “honor”, which is due Him.[1]

Chapter 14

In Spirit and in Truth

            At the end of the second chapter, a question was raised: “What does it mean to worship God in spirit and in truth?” Subsequent chapters have helped to lay the foundation for the answer to that question, which we will now consider. We will look at each of the terms Jesus used: worship, spirit, and truth, in order.

                                    Worship

            The word Jesus uses  for worship in John 4:24 is proskuneo in Greek (or shachah in Hebrew). It means to “bow down” or “prostrate” oneself. The connotation is to engage in an act of humility, submission and reverence toward God.

            In His conversation with the Samaritan woman, Jesus pointed out to her that the Samaritan’s idea of worshipping God was wrong. “You worship what you do not know, we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews.”[2] The Samaritans worshipped God through ritual. For them, God was not personal. He was viewed as the Creator but not as their Father. Jesus was very deliberate in addressing God as Father (3 times in a row) emphasizing the personal nature of the relationship. He was trying to show her what was missing in her worship – a personal touch.

            The only way true worship of God can take place is for a person to enter into a personal relationship with Him. God has to become their Father and they His children. The Samaritans knew God’s name, but not His character, personality or purposes. This is true of many people today. They know of God, but they do not know God personally for they have never experienced His salvation.

            Unless a person accepts God’s salvation, he or she cannot enter into a filial (family) relationship with Him. Without this personal relationship, one cannot worship Him correctly. “In other words, one can know and worship God by experiencing His salvation which is in Jesus and which enables the worshipper to call God “abba”, Father.”[3]

            This is one reason why Jesus Christ came to Earth. He came to personalize God and to model the type of relationship with Him that God desires.

In Spirit

            Christ, in the statement He made to the Samaritan woman, makes worship a matter of the heart, not ritual or tradition. Worship has sincerity at its core. It is the response of one’s spirit to the Spirit of God, a communing of one to the other. While worship can be planned, most often it is spontaneous, a response to proximity with God.

            The New Testament uses different phrases to illustrate what it means when a person submits their life to the Lord Jesus Christ. Phrases such as “born again”, “born from above,” or “becoming a new creation” serve to convey the idea of what it means to become a child of God. The language of adoption is also used, with God the Father shown as adopting sons and daughters into His Kingdom, out of the kingdom of this world.

Those who have experienced this adoption, this being “born again”, are the only ones who can worship God in spirit because the spirit now in them is the Spirit of God. You see, at the moment of salvation a wonderful event occurs. God recreates us spiritually (we are born anew) which allows us to interact with Him intimately. This is what Jesus was telling the Samaritan woman. She did not need to worry about where to worship. She needed to understand how to be able to worship. She needed to experience a rebirth, spiritually. Jesus had a very similar conversation with a man called Nicodemus in John, chapter 3.

Intellectual, erudite, skilled in rhetoric and theology, Nicodemus came to Jesus seeking answers. Nicodemus was “the” teacher of Israel, their premier religious instructor. He had heard Jesus speak, he had seen the miracles Jesus had performed, and he accepted the truth that Jesus was a man sent by God, yet he was not a Christian. He did not accept that Jesus was more than a man sent from God, that Jesus was God in the flesh.

When Nicodemus approached Jesus, he gave him a very sincere compliment. He was met by a very confrontational reply, “Unless you are born again, you will not see the kingdom of God.”  Jesus tells the premier religious teacher in Israel that he is not going to be in God’s Kingdom unless he experiences a spiritual rebirth. The word Jesus uses for rebirth means a transformation so complete that it will allow a person to enter another world and adapt to its conditions. He is telling Nicodemus that he needs to undergo a complete metamorphosis in order to enter the Kingdom of God. He is saying to Nicodemus, “Unless you allow me to spiritually transform you, you will not be able to survive in the kingdom of God.”

Jesus is insisting that Nicodemus undergoes a spiritual change from who he is currently, to what he needs to be. To Nicodemus, this statement is staggering. He understands what Jesus is implying, that his religion was futile. Nicodemus was a Pharisee. Pharisees tended to be hyper-legalists who externalized religion. They pursued a form of godliness that had no basis in reality. They were fanatically religious, striving to obey over 600 laws. For a Pharisee, salvation was obtained by works, doing things that they believed were pleasing to God. Being born again is something Nicodemus cannot do. Being born is something that happens to you, not something you do for yourself.

Nicodemus and Jesus did have something in common. Both were Jewish teachers. Jewish teachers taught spiritual truths in symbols. Nicodemus understands Jesus’ symbolism and answers back in kind. “How can a man, whose habits and ways of thinking have been fixed for so long, really be expected to change radically? Physical rebirth is impossible so is spiritual rebirth any more feasible? I can’t start over again. It’s too late. I’ve gone too far in my religious system to change now. I’d have to start all over again. My case is hopeless.”

Many people feel that way. Unlike Dinah, from chapter 3, they are too steeped in their religious tradition to be willing to change. They feel trapped and hopeless by beliefs that they have held all their lives and yet they are unwilling to change. It is not that they cannot change; it is that they will not change unless they allow God’s Spirit to convert them.

In order to satisfy the hunger of their hearts, in order to worship God correctly, they must allow God to transform their life spiritually. The new birth must come from the Holy Spirit of God. A person needs to be spiritually purified and spiritually reborn, and only the Spirit of God can only accomplish this.

We aren’t told how Nicodemus reacts to what he is told. He understands that Jesus is telling him that the new birth must be experienced in order to be understood. None of his scholarly wisdom will explain it. Only by immersing himself in Jesus will he be able to understand salvation.

Nicodemus knew about Jesus, had listened to Jesus, admired Jesus and complimented Jesus, but he did not know Jesus. He needed Jesus to transform his life through being born again.

Those whose hearts hunger to worship God must allow God to transform their life first. Then, they will be able to worship Him spirit to spirit. They will be able to hear Him and understand Him when He speaks. They will experience closeness, a sense of belonging, a kindred-ness with God that surpasses anything they could have imagined.  This is what Jesus means when He tells us we have to worship in spirit.

                        In Truth

            The second criteria Jesus says is necessary to be able to worship God is found in the phrase, “and in truth.” Knowing whom to worship, Jesus, is of supreme importance. To worship in ignorance makes a sham of religion.

            Truth, in biblical terms, is whatever is in harmony with the nature and will of God. The essence of true worship must be on God’s terms and He has revealed that the only worship He will accept is that which is based through Jesus Christ. The revelation of God in Christ is absolute truth.

            The issue is not where a person worships, but how they worship and whom they worship. The how is in spirit. The who is Jesus. Worship is more than just emotion. Too many people confuse the terms praise and worship. Praise is rooted in emotion. Worship is grounded in knowledge – the knowledge of God’s Word and the knowledge of God’s Son.

            By gaining a proper understanding of what Jesus said to the woman at the well, a person can come to worship God properly. A person can no longer sustain the argument that the format or form of worship does not matter. Jesus clearly states that it does. It must come from the spirit and it has to be rooted in God’s revealed truth. Not truth as a person feels it should be (subjective), but as it actually is, measured by divine revelation via the Bible (objective). When knowledge of God is deficient, worship of Him will also be deficient.

            Since God has decreed that He will only accept worship that is grounded in and which flows through Jesus, this makes Christianity the only religion accepted by God. No other form of worship is accepted. A person cannot decide to worship God in whatever way he or she wants to. They did not make the standard. No religion can develop rules that make worship to God possible, because worship is rooted in and through the person of Jesus. Truth cannot be found in the Koran, Baghivad Gita, Pearl of Great Price or other religious works, because they do not contain the historical record of Jesus Christ and the truth of His life. Truth is not perception. Truth is an absolute.

            To worship God in spirit and in truth requires a person to come to God on His terms, surrendering their life to His Son Jesus, accepting His forgiveness and cleansing from sin. At that moment, the heart is renewed, God’s Spirit comes in, and fellowship begins with God that will last for an eternity.

            It is a wonderful thing to experience the transforming person of Jesus Christ. Just ask the Samaritan woman and her neighbors.

Conclusion

The common denominator in each person’s story is the Holy Spirit. Through the Spirit’s power, people were drawn to the truth of Jesus Christ, had their spiritual eyes opened, their minds illuminated to understand Scripture and experienced forgiveness and cleansing. Though each of them came from different backgrounds, cultures and experiences, the same Spirit drew them into a relationship, or deeper into a relationship, with their Savior.

Those who had given up on life found a new purpose. Those who were lonely and afraid experienced a Savior who will never leave or abandon them. Those searching for spiritual answers found their answers in Jesus Christ. Those who saw life as a duty to be fulfilled instead found life as an adventure to be enjoyed and experienced.

The God of the universe created each individual. He knows our personalities. He knows our life, the choices we make and the struggles we face. In fact, you cannot disappoint God. Disappointment comes from unmet expectations. Since God knows everything that will ever happen, since He knows everything you will ever say or do before you say or do it, you cannot disappoint Him. He knows all about you and still reaches out to draw you into a relationship with Him.

There is no one so bad, so evil, so immoral that He cannot redeem him or her. There is no one so tainted by sin that He cannot cleanse. There is no one so far away, so lost, that He cannot find. God made people with both the capacity and the desire to worship Him. His Holy Spirit calls to people and will guide them into a knowledge of how to worship the Living God if they will submit to Him.

St. Augustine of Hippo said it most eloquently. “You have made us for Yourself, O Lord, and drawn us to You. Our hearts are restless until they find rest in You. “[4]

Do you have a heart that is restless? Does your heart hunger for God? Perhaps you might echo St. Augustine’s cry:

“My heart is listening, Lord. Open the ears of my heart and say to my soul – I am your salvation. Let me run towards this voice and seize hold of You.”[5]

Satisfy the hunger of your heart by opening yourself up to the Spirit of God.

[1] Dean G. Thomas

[2] John 4:22

[3] Jey Kanagaraj: Worship, Sacrifice and Mission:Themes Interlocked in John, Indian Journal of Theology V.40.1&2 1998

[4] Confession of St. Augustine, Book 1, Chapter 1

[5] Ibid

A Heart Hungry To Worship Part 14

/ taethne

Jesus found him. The man did not find Jesus; Jesus found him. That is the deepest truth of Christian faith; Jesus found me. Our fellowship with Him is rooted in His compassion.[1]

Chapter 13

Steve and Sarina’s Story

            It has been many years since Steve and Sarina experienced the life transforming power of the Holy Spirit. Despite the passage of time, they have never lost the wonder and excitement of being chosen, out of all the people in the world, by God. Their gratitude over being adopted into God’s heavenly family has only deepened as time has marched on.

            Steve and Sarina came into my life one afternoon in need of a favor. One of their daughters was weeks away from being married. The pastor of their church had resigned and moved away, leaving them without someone to officiate the wedding. Not wanting just anyone, Steve and Sarina went looking for a minister with the same doctrinal beliefs. I agreed to meet with them and we sat and talked for quite some time. Over the next few days, a friendship developed between our two families, one that would continue to grow and deepen.

            The wedding went off as planned and as our friendship grew, I came to admire their deep faith and love for God. It didn’t come as too much of a surprise when they showed up for church one Sunday morning. As the congregation sang, I couldn’t help but notice Sarina’s voice. Strong and beautiful, her voice brought a rich fullness to the service. Afterwards, I asked her to consider joining the choir and helping to lead the congregational singing. I was given such a funny look that I was afraid that I had somehow offended her. I dropped the subject rather awkwardly, and prayed that whatever misstep I had done would be revealed.

            The following Sunday, some of our ushers were absent. On the spur of the moment, I asked Steve if he would mind helping the other guys collect the offerings during the service. He hesitantly agreed, but I was struck with the feeling that I had again done something not quite right.

            Earlier in the week, knowing Steve’s mechanical skills, I had asked him to take a look at some equipment the church owned that needed fixing. After the service was over, I gave him a key to the church and told him that he could pick up the equipment anytime and take it to his shop. I was shocked to see this big bear of a man tear up, drop the key like a hot potato, and stammer incomprehensibly. I knew then that something was definitely wrong and that I needed to investigate. Over coffee the following day, their story came out.

            Steve and Sarina had both come to faith in Jesus Christ as adults. At the time, they lived back East and they moved to Montana not too long after their conversion experience. A gifted mechanic, Steve loved to restore old vehicles to their original conditions. They had a wonderful family and were very outgoing and jovial. They were relatively young Christians and had not had the opportunity to be discipled in the faith. The church they had been attending was doctrinally similar to ours. Steve and Sarina were charter members, excited to become part of a new church so soon after moving to a new state. For the last seven or eight years they faithfully attended every service. There was one glaring difference between our two churches, though.

            In their church, a person could not sing in the choir, usher, teach, take up an offering, play an instrument or even lead a corporate prayer unless they were judged to be spiritually mature enough by the pastor. For over seven years this couple, full of desire to worship the God they loved, were told that they hadn’t reached a spiritual level high enough to be acceptable to God. That was why it was so shocking to them that I had asked them to participate in our services. They did not feel worthy enough.

            Rarely have I ever been so angry in my life. Here were these wonderful people, passionate about their faith, full of untapped talent and zeal, eager to serve the Lord in any capacity, that were victims of a misguided human tyrant. I was outraged that a human being, under the guise of a minister of God, would dare to intervene and prohibit one of God’s children from worshipping their Father.

            This was why they had reacted so peculiarly to my requests. They didn’t feel worthy enough to sing in the choir or take up an offering. To be offered the responsibility of having a key to the church was overwhelming to them. Their natural response of wanting to serve and worship the Lord who had saved them had been stifled by years under the teaching of a person who had added rules and regulations to Holy Scriptures.

            I began sharing with them, from the Bible, how God gifted each one of us with certain abilities and talents. I shared how God desires us to use those talents and abilities in service for His Kingdom. We talked about how God delights in hearing the praises of His children. We discussed how even new Christians, those still immature in their faith, could please God and render acceptable service to Him. Most of all, I shared how they could find their worth and identity in their relationship with Jesus Christ. I used Steve’s passion for rebuilding cars as an example of how God rebuilds us, how He begins the process of transforming us into the image of His Son through the power of the Holy Spirit. They began to get excited as God’s truth penetrated the shell of false teachings they had believed for years. They began to truly understand and accept God’s love for them and His declaration that “there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are Christ Jesus.”[2]

            The change in their lives was dramatic. Freed from a false sense of guilt and feelings of inadequacy, Steve and Sarina pursued worshipping God with fervor. Joy at finally being able to express how much they loved their Savior and Lord poured forth from them like a torrent. Their faith was infectious, changing those around them for the better. Many people were attracted to the gospel of Christ by observing the passion and excitement that penetrated their lives. God began preparing Steve and Sarina for even greater things as they matured in their knowledge of Him. Like sponges, they soaked up Scripture; their minds grasping the deep truths of God as they put into practice the teachings of the Bible.

            Almost a year after our conversation over coffee, Steve was ordained as an evangelist. Far from being unworthy to serve, the Holy Spirit uses Steve to witness for Him in a mighty way. For almost two decades now, he has served with a group of Christian motorcycle riders, sharing the gospel in places not easily accessible to most Christians. His wife accompanies him quite often, in between the Bible studies she leads for various ladies’ groups.             As I look back on their lives of service for God, I am filled with joy, sadness and pride. Joy, seeing how much Steve and Sarina have accomplished for the Lord and for the happiness that explodes out of them as they serve. Sadness, because of the wasted years under the influence of a person who does not understand grace or what it means to worship God in spirit and in truth. I have a sinking feeling that Steve and Sarina are not the only followers of Jesus Christ whose worship of Him has been stifled by false teaching. I shudder to think of the potential consequences faced by those who interfere with God’s children worshipping Him with all their heart, soul, strength and mind. Pride, at being used by God to assist Steve and Sarina, in helping them come into a realization of their worth in God’s sight. I pray that God will continue to use Steve, Sarina and I to reach out to the multitude of people that have yet to experience true worship. Not just those who have yet to enter into a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, but also to those whose relationship with Him has been hindered from growing. It is vitally important to be able to share the meaning of how worship in spirit and in truth accurately, so this can take place.

[1] William Temple, Readings in St. John’s Gospel

[2] Romans 8:1

A Heart Hungry To Worship Part 13

/ taethne

An exorcism is tantamount to a miracle – an extraordinary intervention of God.[1]

Chapter 12

Mary Magdalene’s Story

Nighttime was terrifying for Mary. In the daylight hours, she could sometimes still the tormenting voices that spoke to her, telling her to do disgusting, destructive things that revolted her. At night, though, alone in the darkness, Mary could not help hearing them. Try as she might, she could not quiet them from her mind. Mary was desperate for help. In her despair, she often thought of ending her miserable life, but she never seemed to be able to follow through on any of her plans. Mary was a truly wretched soul in need of a Savior.

Mary Magdalene’s story is one of the most poignant and intriguing in Scripture. Very little is revealed of her personal life, but what is recorded shows us a woman living in spiritual bondage. Her transformation into a dedicated disciple gives hope to all who live lives controlled by forces beyond their power to overcome.

Unfortunately, Mary’s biography has taken on a life of its own. She has been depicted as everything from a reformed prostitute to the secret wife of Jesus. Much of the muddled information about her comes from misidentification of several individuals named Mary in the Bible as well as fictional stories written in the first two centuries about her. Even today, fictional accounts such as Dan Brown’s stories and movies add untrue details to her life. The Biblical record only speaks of her life before she met Christ briefly and then shows us glimpses of how prominent a role she plays in early Christianity.

The Mary Magdalene of the Holy Scriptures was healed of a terrible condition by Jesus. She was possessed by seven demonic spirits[2] that were exorcised by the Son of God. Her devotion to Jesus Christ sprung from the gratitude she had to Him for giving her back her life.

Whether or not a person believes in demonic possession is irrelevant. The Bible presents possession from evil spirits as fact. There are a total of 14 places in the New Testament where demonic activity is discussed. Jesus spent a lot of time in His ministry freeing people whose lives, like Mary’s, were enslaved to demons. The gospel accounts all agree that possession is quite real and that the Son of God has power over evil spirits.

Can you imagine what life was like for Mary? I have dealt with individuals whose lives were being systematically destroyed by a single demonic entity. Nothing in my experience or imagination can begin to comprehend just how thoroughly miserable Mary Magdalene’s life would have been, but I can extrapolate some things from examples of demonic possession found in the pages of the New Testament.

Mary’s self-esteem would have been degraded. Her will and desires were under the control of outside forces stronger than she was. To be dominated by not just one, but seven, unclean spirits, would have been exposure to evil on a scale permanently damaging to her psyche. In a very real sense, she was a slave. From what we see in various accounts throughout the four gospels and the book of Acts, those who were under the influence of evil spirits had other issues as well.

While no two possessions were identical, you can look at each of them and see the different kinds of effects the spirits had. Some people became violent, such as in the encounter between Jesus and the man from Gaderea.[3] Other possessed people in the New Testament lost the ability to speak, [4]had violent seizures, [5]suffered physical deformities, [6]and showed distinct personality shifts.[7]Still accounts in the Bible dealing with possessed individuals show them having supernatural knowledge, [8]superhuman strength, [9]and causing depression.[10]

Exactly what Mary experienced during the time she was possessed cannot be known for certain, although Luke 8:2 uses the word infirmities,[11]which always refers to physical sickness when used in a sentence with either the word(s) healed or demons. She did, at the very least, suffer physical sickness, loss of her will and tormenting thoughts. We can reasonably assume that years of illness would have led to depression and despair. With seven spirits in her, those problems would have been exponentially multiplied.

Mary needed a Savior. She found one in Jesus. He freed her from captivity. He gave her a new life, a life that contained joy, inner peace and purpose. When Jesus was crucified and buried, she was crushed. Her grief was as extreme as her devotion. How great was her joy at seeing the Resurrected Christ! How magnificent the privilege of being the first person to whom He appears!

When Mary became a follower of Jesus, she became fully sold out to Him. Two groups of disciples followed Jesus. The first group consisted of men, led primarily by Peter, as well as James and John. The second group consisted of women, led by Mary Magdalene. While other woman are listed, in every list Mary Magdalene’s name comes first, just as Peter’s does when the male disciples are mentioned. That is why I surmise that she was a leader. These women financially supported a lot of Jesus’ ministry.[12]

Do you see how far Mary Magdalene has come? From a wretched, tortured past, she has been cleansed, freed and taken up a position of responsibility. Her story shows us that no one is beyond the reach of Jesus. He comes to her, heals her and allows her a place of honorable service.

How does Mary relate to Renee? Both women were controlled by influences beyond their power to control. Both were outcasts – Mary because she was possessed, Renee because of how she viewed herself. Mary and Renee each found freedom in Christ, and devoted the rest of their days to worshipping Him through service. I believe Renee was influenced by the spirits in the idols she owned, just as Mary was by the seven demonic spirits Jesus cast from her. The dramatic change in the lives of both women stands as a powerful testimony to the healing power of Jesus.

There are many people, from all lifestyles, who would give anything to worship the Lord God, but they are unable to because of the control our Adversary has over their lives. It is good news to know that Jesus seeks them out and brings healing to them. Jesus breaks the chains of spiritual bondage; He sets free those who are captive to the Enemy so that they, too, can worship God the Father.

No one has to give in to despair, discouragement or hopelessness. That is one of the great truths of Christianity. It is one reason why the story of Christ’s redemption is good news. Not only does belief in Him grant us eternal life, but a life worth living here and now. Mary’s story reminds us that in Jesus Christ we find purpose, hope, comfort and a life full of exciting opportunities of service to Him. Whom do you know who could use good news like this? Go and tell them.

[1] Gabriele Nanni, http://www.boston.com/news/world/articles/2005/02/18/vatican_backs_exorcism_course/

[2] Luke 8:2

[3] Luke 8:26

[4] Luke 11:14

[5] Luke 9:39

[6] Luke 13:11

[7] Luke 8:28-35, Mark 1:23-24

[8] Acts 16:16-18

[9] Matthew 8:28, Luke 8:29

[10] 1 Samuel 16:14-23

[11] In Greek, astheneia

[12] Luke 8:3

A Heart Hungry To Worship Part 12

/ taethne

God places lonely people in families[1]

Chapter 11

Renee’s Story

Renee was a whirlwind of animated excitement. Laughter bubbled over her lips as she showed me around her new apartment at the retirement complex. Spry and agile for someone pushing eighty, Renee introduced me to dozens of people that afternoon. As I readied myself to leave a couple of hours later, she whispered to me, “And I get to share Jesus’ love with them all.”

Renee’s life was dramatically altered from the one she was living just a few years before. A widower, she lived alone in a house, burdened by a terrible secret. Renee was a large woman, standing well over six feet tall and built like a Chicago Bear’s linebacker. She had a pleasant face but because of her size, she endured a childhood of ridicule from cruel classmates. Their ridiculing taunts damaged her self-esteem. Many of the boys she hoped would find her attractive seemed to be scared off by her size. She despaired of finding a soul mate, a person who would love and care for her.

One day, to her surprise, she found such a man. He was a person who looked at her personality, her inner self, and who loved her for more than her physical features. Falling head over heels in love, they quickly married. For a number of years Renee and her husband shared life together. They traveled around the world and Renee was fascinated with the different cultures she experienced. She began collecting idols from the various religions they encountered on their journeys.  She proudly displayed them on a shelf in her living room and made sure that every visitor knew she had her bases covered religiously. Then, suddenly, her husband passed away, leaving a hole in Renee that she despaired of ever filling.

Despair turned grief into anger and bitterness. Not believing she could ever find another person to love her, Renee began to seek relationships in destructive ways. At first she prayed to her idols, believing that among so many one would surely be able to help her. She began to think terrible thoughts and felt a spiritual oppressiveness that frightened her. Unable to face hours alone, Renee took to bar hopping in a larger city an hour from her home. There she would pick up whatever male was available and willing to spend the night with her. If she could not have love, she reasoned, she would at least take what comfort she could find in sex. For a few hours, just being with another person helped quiet the terrifying thoughts that had begun to plague her. To her dismay, there was no comfort, only a vicious cycle of hopelessness that was threatening to overwhelm her.

One day she saw an advertisement in the newspaper about a new church starting in her town. The ad invited anyone who wanted to celebrate the hope found in Jesus to attend an organizational meeting. Renee found the idea of finding hope attractive so she attended the first service. Even though she did not understand many of the words the preacher used in his sermon or know any of the songs sung, she enjoyed being part of the group.

Renee quickly realized that everyone there assumed she was a Christian and she did not wish to dissuade them of that belief. That way, Renee thought, she could remain a part of them and they would not be trying to convert her. At first, she felt guilty about the deception but that faded away soon enough. Whenever she felt guilty about what she did on Friday or Saturday nights, Renee would go to church on Sunday to try to ease her conscience. She also discovered that whenever she was in a church service, she was not plagued by the tormenting thoughts as much.

Years passed and as Renee got older, the more tired she became at living her double life. She started going to a psychiatrist for counseling but as soon as he diagnosed her as having hyper sexuality (he told her she was a “nymphomaniac”) she stopped going. It was not that she disagreed; it was just that the term sounded so vulgar to one of her generation. Renee desired to change her lifestyle but she did not know where to start.

When I met her, Renee was at a crossroads. She had continued to attend church and the Holy Spirit was working in her heart, convicting her of her lifestyle. Renee attended a special Bible study at our church on the book of Ephesians. When we got to chapter two, studying the section on God’s grace alone bringing salvation, she interrupted. She believed that a person could obtain salvation if they worked hard enough, did enough good things. Renee was in despair her whole life because she knew she could never do enough good things to counteract her sinful lifestyle. Now she was hearing of grace and it sparked a hope within her that she thought died years ago.

Another pastor and I talked with Renee for a couple of days about the power of God’s grace. We told her how God’s Holy Spirit alone could change a person’s heart, transforming them into a new person. Renee was so excited but at the same time hesitant. Admitting that she lived a sinful lifestyle according to Scriptures in the Bible was easy. She recognized that she needed God’s grace and power in her life but her pride was keeping her from submitting her life to the Lordship of Jesus Christ. For over 30 years, she had deceived the church into thinking that she was already a Christian. Confessing her deception to the pastor was one thing, confessing it to the whole church was another. She was not willing to make that step.

Without confessing and asking forgiveness of her sins, Renee was never going to experience God’s salvation. She wanted to confess only those sins that she had hidden away, not those that would expose her duplicity. The other pastor and I prayed for her. We prayed that the Holy Spirit would soften her heart and bring her to the point of laying everything down at the feet of Jesus.

Within a week, Renee’s attitude changed. The next Sunday she marched to the front of the church and announced she was ready to receive God’s forgiveness and His salvation. She found that and more. Not only did she experience God’s grace and cleansing from sin, but she experienced the forgiveness and good will of the church. She was amazed, fearing the church would condemn her for her years of pretense. She basked in the glow of experiencing the love that was shown to her by people genuinely happy that she had found the peace of God. Her whole life monumentally began to shift from that moment forward. On her own initiative, she brought all her idols to church in a bag and asked us to smash them and dispose of the pieces, as she was now publicly declaring that there is only One, True, God.

After taking this action, Renee stopped being plagued by the destructive and depressing thoughts entering her mind. She had never associated them with the idols on her shelf before, but after her mind was free, she understood what God had delivered her from. Renee also decided to move out of her house and into the retirement center. Too much time alone, she informed me, led to her feeling sorry for herself and getting depressed. She was worried about her sexual appetite, about not being able to control it. She had indulged herself without restraint for decades and she did not know how to curb the desire. We prayed, asking God to remove the illicit desires and to replace it with an ability to love people and engage in relationships with them in ways that did not involve sexual contact.

God answered, removing that desire immediately. For the first time since her husband died, she was able to have normal friendships with males and to give and accept non-sexual love. Jesus filled a void in her life and she was so grateful that she wanted training on how to share Him with others around her.

She loved the structure of the retirement complex, of being surrounded by people 24/7 and interacting with people her age. For the rest of her years Renee continued to witness to everyone in her complex about how God had radically transformed her life. Her story reminds me of a woman in the Bible whose life was similarly transformed. A woman named Mary Magdalene.

[1] Psalm 68:6

A Heart Hungry To Worship Part 11

/ taethne

An army of deer led by a lion is more to be feared than an army of lions led by a deer[1]

Chapter 10

Timothy’s Story

To live up to high expectations that are placed on you is not an easy task. It places a heavy burden on any person to be told from childhood that a great destiny awaits you. You try your best not to disappoint those who believe in you. Sometimes you try so hard that your life becomes a duty instead of an adventure. A young man in the New Testament understood that very well. His name was Timothy and great things were prophesied about him.

Born to a family whose father was not a Christian, Timothy was grounded in the faith by his mother and grandmother who were believers.[2] The apostle Paul served as a type of surrogate father to him, especially in spiritual matters.[3] Timothy excelled in faith and virtue[4], becoming a trusted partner of the great Apostle.

Timothy had a cheerful disposition, took on challenging assignments in the ministry and aided Paul through many campaigns. He was a teacher and a leader that Paul could count on. Handpicked by Paul to serve in places like Ephesus[5],Troas[6]and Corinth[7], Timothy seemed to have it all together. Yet, hanging over all that he did, was the specter of expectations yet unfulfilled.

Twice in Paul’s first letter to Timothy reference is made to prophecies made about the young minister.[8] These prophecies are what put a burden of expectation upon Timothy. Having a mentor who is a living legend expecting great things from you is daunting enough. Having prophecies about you that come from the Holy Spirit – that leads to a lot of pressure. While Timothy was by nature a pleasant and trustworthy person, he is also described as having physical weaknesses[9], or infirmities, and timidity.[10] He seems to have a non-confrontational personality and yet he was challenged by Paul over and over to confront those who were wrong in their beliefs and teachings. Some of the things Paul instructed Timothy to do were:

  • Correct false teaching[11]
  • Fight for the true faith[12]
  • Point out errors in false teaching[13]
  • Discipline himself to godly living[14]
  • Proclaim the gospel publically[15]
  • Guard God’s Word[16]
  • Authoritatively lead[17], and
  • Do the work of an evangelist[18]

Paul admonishes Timothy to be a good soldier[19] who would fight for the faith and stand firm on the truths of God. For a personality such as his, this would be difficult. Timothy would struggle between who he was and what God was calling him to become.

This is a very familiar scenario for many Christians. While not everyone has clear prophecies uttered over them, all of God’s children have a service He calls them to perform. All of us have some knowledge of what God wants us to be for Him and the discrepancy between that and who we currently are is sometimes very great.

Timothy had performed admirably for Paul up to the time of the second letter. Like Matthias, Timothy had performed his duty. In order to go on, to go further in the ministry, Timothy was going to have to learn how to serve God out of love. He needed to learn to go beyond duty, to anticipate and take the lead over his churches. By this time in his life, Timothy should not have to wait until orders from Paul arrived. He should have the confidence in his training, his skills, his God and be the leader he was prophesied to become. Timothy was ready to graduate to the next level of leadership and Paul was pushing him along.

Timothy needed confidence. When a person is acting out of duty, following orders, there is a safety net built in. If things go wrong you can always fall back on the old excuse, “I was just following orders.” To seize the reigns and lead is to cut away the safety rope and take responsibility. That takes courage. It takes ownership. Timothy needed to be reminded of the God who believed in him. He needed to be reminded of the God who equipped him with gifts and talents. He needed to be reminded of his training, of his faith honed from his upbringing with Paul. He needed reminding of how he had forged this faith through his adventures and travels. Timothy needed confidence in who and what he was – a minister of God. He needed to stop worrying about his young age, what his detractors thought of him, his reputation, or his physical constitution.

Paul’s letters to Timothy are equally encouraging and scolding. It was time for Timothy to step up and become the man God intended him to be. Paul’s final charge to Timothy, to do the work of an evangelist[20], is a call for him to stop hiding behind his comfort zone and engage people face to face with the gospel message. That is what Timothy was called to do. Yes, he was a great pastor. Yes, he knew how to lead a church. To do the work of an evangelist meant going outside the church and engage lost people wherever they were.

Whenever God calls one of His children to do something for Him, it always entails moving beyond a person’s comfort zone. It always includes developing new skills, new talents, and new approaches. God uses all of our experiences and all of the natural abilities He has already gifted us with, but He moves us beyond all of those things so that we become completely dependent on Him for effectiveness and so that He alone receives all the glory.

For us, it is a call to trust Him. It is a call to believe that we can accomplish all things through His power as He has promised. It is a call to go beyond duty. It is a call to do more than obey because we are scared of failing, afraid of punishment, or fearful of ridicule. God wants us to obey Him out of love, not just out of duty. Repeatedly Paul encourages Timothy not to be ashamed[21] of testifying of the Lord but to proclaim boldly the life-changing message of Jesus Christ. Paul knows that when Timothy starts serving out of love and not out of duty or fear of letting someone down that he will be freed to accomplish great things for the Lord.

Timothy will serve out of love. He will accomplish great things for the Lord. Church history tells of some of the things Timothy accomplished in his lifetime. We know that he led Ephesus to become a bastion of orthodoxy, for we read in Revelation 2:2-3 of their testing of those who claimed to speak in the name of Christ. We also know that Timothy is spoken of in the highest way in other New Testament letters. In his letter to the church at Philippi, Paul writes,

“But I trust in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy to you shortly, that I also may be encouraged when I know your state. For I have no one like-minded, who will sincerely care for your state. For all seek their own, not the things which are of Christ Jesus.  But you know his proven character, that as a son with his father he served with me in the gospel.”[22]

Paul says that Timothy has the same mind set as his own. He says that Timothy does not seek his own comfort, his own advancement, but looks out for the welfare of others. He has a self-sacrificing spirit. Very few compliments for a Christian to receive are better than this one. His character, Paul says, is proven. It is an established fact. This spirit of sincerely caring for others can only come from love, not duty. Timothy becomes a person that lives up to all his potential, just as God foresaw.

The letter to the Hebrews mentions Timothy as well.

            “Know that our brother Timothy has been set free, with whom I shall see you if he comes shortly.”[23]

This seemingly obscure reference has a major revelation in it. Timothy was admonished by Paul not to be ashamed of the gospel, not to be embarrassed by his imprisonment, to go out of his comfort zone and engage the world. He did so and paid the price. Like his mentor, Timothy was thrown into prison for preaching the good news of Jesus Christ. That is what the term in Hebrews means when it says he was “set free.”

The young man who was once ashamed of his advisor’s imprisonment had now followed his example. Timothy threw off his timid nature and entered the spiritual battle for the souls of men with abandon. He would pay the ultimate price. History records that at age 69, Timothy scolded some citizens of Ephesus who were celebrating the idolatrous feast of Catagogion. This so exasperated the people that they fell upon him with their clubs, and beat him. He died from the beating two days later.

Timothy went from timid preacher to thundering ambassador, from an ashamed follower to an imprisoned disciple, from dutiful apprentice to loving encourager. Timothy’s transformation gives encouragement and hope to all followers of Jesus Christ.

To know what is right and do it is obedience. To know what is right and desire to do it stems from love. The Holy Spirit produces such desire in followers of Christ as they let him transform their lives. The Spirit is the one that brings about a life full of joy and completeness, satisfaction and celebration. Salvation is much more than life after death. It is also a fulfilling life now; one lived out with a love that comes from God above.

[1] Chabrias 410-375 B.C.

[2] 2 Timothy 1:5, 3:15

[3] 1 Timothy 1:2,18

[4] 1 Timothy 1:5

[5] 1 Timothy 1:3

[6] Acts 20:4-6

[7] 1 Corinthians 16:10-11

[8] 1 Timothy 1:18, 4:14

[9] 1 Timothy 5:23

[10] 2 Timothy 1;6-8

[11] 1 Timothy 1:3-5

[12] 1 Timothy 1:18-19, 6:12

[13] 1 Timothy 4:6

[14] 1 Timothy 4:7

[15] 1 Timothy 4:13, 2 Timothy 4:1-2

[16] 1 Timothy 20-21, 2 Timothy 1:12-14

[17] 2 Timothy 2:14

[18] 2 Timothy 4:5

[19] 2 Timothy 2:3

[20] 2 Timothy 4:5

[21] For example, 2 Timothy 1:8

[22] Philippians 2:19-22

[23] Hebrews 13:23

A Heart Hungry To Worship Part 10

/ taethne

Let us remember that, as much has been given us, much will be expected from us, and that true homage comes from the heart as well as from the lips, and shows itself in deeds.[1]

Chapter 9

Matthias’ Story

Matthias’ parents took him to church while he was still in his mother’s womb. When he was a young child, he made a profession of faith and the church baptized him. Matthias was a good kid. It was not that he possessed a strong faith that made him act good, but more because he was afraid of disappointing people by doing wrong. He did everything expected of him out of a sense of duty.

Sailing through high school, Matthias set off for college, bound and determined to make something of his life. The years of watching his parents serve at small, struggling churches left him disappointed with his faith. Seeing the business side of churches and experiencing his family’s generosity being taken advantage of repeatedly, left Matthias determined to become self-sufficient. All of his life, Matthias had people ask him, “Are you going to be a preacher like your father?” That was the last thing Matthias wanted. His plan was to manage a top-flight hotel somewhere in the Caribbean. Funny, how life had not turned out quite that way for him though.

At college, Matthias visited other denominations, to see and experience their forms of worship. Still disillusioned with organized churches, he even tried some small group studies on campus but they did very little for him spiritually.

When Billy Graham came into the area to hold a crusade during his junior year, Matthias was very interested. He had always respected Graham’s ministry and character, and the opportunity to get involved in something of this magnitude was too good to pass up.

Signing up to be a counselor at the crusade required a lot of work. Various churches across the city held training classes, so it was easy for Matthias to find one close to campus. He enjoyed the training and felt excited to be part of something fresh and new.

During the final class, though, Matthias received the surprise of his life. The instructor stopped his teaching, looked straight at him and said, “Young man, God has told me to tell you to stop running from Him. He is calling you to be a missionary for Him.” Matthias was very quick to protest. “Not me. I am going to be a hotel manager. You must be mistaken.” The instructor replied, “Do with it what you will, I am just a messenger.”

Matthias left, somewhat shaken up. “This person doesn’t even know me,” he thought, “Why would he say something like that?” He proceeded to help with the crusade and finished out his junior year. Try as he might, he could not forget the words spoken to him by the instructor.

During the summer break, Matthias decided to visit a friend in Europe. It would be a nice vacation, and though he would not admit it, Matthias was hoping that a change of scenery would help him forget the instructor’s words for a little while. Since his friend was an agnostic, he figured that it would be a very good place to silence his questioning thoughts.

Matthias’ trip went fantastic. Old castles, wonderful museums, different cultures to experience; it was his first time out of the country and he loved every minute of it. The day before his return to the Sates, his friend suggested visiting some new friends she had made in a neighboring town.

Those friends turned out to be Catholic priests training to go to Africa as missionaries. “What an odd coincidence,” Matthias thought. They quickly began to discuss the commonalities and differences of their respective faiths and, as night drew into early morning, an amazing thing occurred. One of the priests looked at Matthias and said, “Young man, you are running away from God. You need to return home. God is calling you to be a missionary for Him.”

Matthias found himself thoroughly shaken. It was almost the exact same words spoken to him by the instructor many months before. No one knew of that earlier conversation. There was no way these priests on another continent could have known. This had to be more than coincidence but Matthias was not ready to listen.

After finishing his vacation, Matthias returned home. He decided to go to a different church in a neighboring city. The pastor was new to the church and no one who attended there knew him. “A fresh start,” Matthias thought, “is just what I need.” Matthias enjoyed the service very much. He made an appointment to talk with the pastor about beliefs and to investigate the process of joining the church.

During his meeting with the pastor, the two discussed their beliefs and Matthias found that the church held views similar to his own. They talked amicably for almost twenty minutes and then something startling happened. The pastor looked over his desk at Matthias and said, “Young man, God is calling you into the ministry but you keep running away from Him.” Matthias stared in disbelief and then, finally, began the journey he had been avoiding all along, the journey to following God’s will for his life.

It would take a few more months before Matthias finally surrendered his desires for his future security over to God. It was a struggle to relinquish his dreams, but when he did, when the last barrier fell, Matthias felt the deep and abiding peace of knowing God’s pleasure with him for the first time in many years. Twenty something years later, Matthias still follows God’s calling and has never once looked back or regretted his decision.

Gone were his fears of not being able to make a good living. Gone were his desires to become someone of note, to make his mark on the world. They were replaced by a knowledge of who he was and his purpose in life. He found how God wanted him to worship and to serve. I know, because Matthias’ story is mine.

After many years of obedience out of a sense of duty, came the freedom that obedience from a sense of devotion and love brings.  Finding purpose and approval from God far outweighs any approval needed from man and changes lives, like Matthias’ and mine, forever.

No longer burdened by trying to live up to expectations of family, no longer seeking approval from peers, service to God became a joy instead of drudgery. I came to realize that duty without love or joy meant that I didn’t value or respect the one I was serving – Jesus. That was a very harsh reality to wake up to. As I came to understand the sacrifice Jesus made for me, as I came to understand the depths to which Jesus went, my heart became filled with gratitude. I realized, not just academically, but personally, the love God has for me. That love chased away all the fears that had plagued me. The Bible says that, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”[2]

As I yielded control of my life, my future over to God without reservations or restrictions, His love washed over me and drove away all those fears. No longer did I worry about others would say or think. No longer would I wonder if I could be successful or good enough. I had placed my life into the hands of the One who knows everything, the One who, “works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”[3] I finally comprehended the truth of Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

The New Testament also has a story of a young man whom God called into the ministry. A man who had great things prophesied about him. A man who felt the burden of the great expectations placed on him. One who struggled with who he was and how God wanted to use him. It is the story of Timothy, a most remarkable young man.

[1] Theodore Roosevelt, Proclamation 466, Thanksgiving Day 1901

[2] 1 John 4:8

[3] Romans 8:28

A Heart Hungry To Worship Part 9

/ taethne

True biblical worship so satisfies our total personality that we don’t have to shop around for man-made substitutes.[1]

Chapter 8

Saul of Tarsus

The story of Saul of Tarsus is one of the most dramatic stories of all time. He explodes onto the scene in the book of the Acts of the Apostles as a terrifying figure. Highly educated and possessing a formidable personality coupled with fanatic devotion, Saul enters the Biblical record as a sworn enemy of Christianity.

Saul is first seen in the Bible standing in approval at the stoning death of Stephen, a deacon in the early church. Following Stephen’s death, Saul is revealed as the instigator in the systematic persecution of the fledgling church. Not content with shattering the church in Jerusalem, Saul obtains permission from the religious leaders to seek out the followers of Jesus wherever they may be, going as far as Damascus, Syria, in zealous pursuit of his targets.

What made Saul so dangerous was his belief system. Saul was a devout Jew, a member of their Sanhedrin and the protégé of the greatest rabbi of that time. Saul was so adamant in his beliefs that he developed a very rigid and intolerant view of any Jewish person who embraced anything other than the Judaism he espoused.

Saul was the most dangerous type of person there is – one who believes, beyond any doubt, that he is acting on God’s behalf and is not subject to any other authority. His mentality was that of the “repent or die” variety. Today, we would probably label Saul as a religious extremist or a terrorist on par with the zealots in the Taliban. Saul acted to keep his religion pure. He wanted it free from the influence of Jesus of Nazareth, who claimed to be the Jewish Messiah, the fulfillment of prophecy.

Saul’s life undergoes a dramatic change one day. He is exposed to the God he claimed to serve and leaves the encounter a changed and humbled man. Interestingly, God used blindness to deliver part of His lesson to Saul, just as He did with Jie Li.

The Bible records the story in Acts, chapter 9. Saul was traveling to Damascus when, suddenly, a bright light enveloped him and a voice from heaven spoke.

“Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?”[2]

Saul realizes that he is in the presence of the supernatural and his question seems to be one of clarification. Is it God, Himself, speaking or an angelic messenger? To his surprise, the voice identifies himself as Jesus. Saul’s shock is evident. He is bent on destroying the followers of Jesus, believing that Jesus was a charlatan, a fake, and now he is faced with overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Jesus speaks from heaven. He is divine.

Blind from the heavenly light, humbled by the voice of Jesus, Saul is led to Damascus a thoroughly confused man. For a number of days he is alone with his thoughts, coming to terms with the difference between what he always believed to be true and truth itself.

During the time Saul is contemplating all that is happening to him, God is busy preparing the next step in drawing Saul to the worship of His Son. God speaks to a Christian believer, Anaias, and tells him to go find Saul and speak to him.

Anaias is naturally afraid. Christians are in hiding because of Saul’s activities and now God is asking him to approach Saul directly. Anaias is hesitant, clearly wondering if God can possibly be serious. He is assured that not only does God want him to visit Saul, but also that God is in the middle of drafting Saul into service for the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Anaias finds Saul, puts his hands on Saul’s head as he prays for him and, just like Jie Li; God answers the prayer and restores sight to Saul. Saul now has a choice to make. For three days, he has prayed to God for clarification, guidance, and wisdom. Anaias challenges Paul with a mini-sermon followed by a question:

“The God of our fathers has chosen you, that you should know His will, and see that Just One (Jesus) and should hear the voice of His mouth. For you shall be His witness unto all men of what you have seen and heard. Why now do you tarry? Arise, be baptized and wash away your sins, calling on the name of the Lord”[3]

Saul is a thoroughly changed man. He does get up and become a Christian. He has accepts the incontrovertible evidence that Jesus is God’s Messiah. He did not just hear a voice and see a bright light. Scripture is clear that Paul beheld the resurrected Christ. He wrestled with this vision for three days and concluded that he had been wrong in his beliefs about Jesus, Christianity, and salvation from God.  For a person of his position, status and temperament, this is a miraculous change. God will use the zeal that characterized Saul and direct it into taking Jesus’ Gospel into the rest of the world. The champion of Jewish orthodoxy would become the champion of the Christian faith. The change is so dramatic that Saul starts using the Greek form of his name, Paul, to symbolize that he is no longer the same individual.

Saul, now Paul, becomes an evangelist, missionary, church planter, and author of the majority of the New Testament. His great intellect, his religious training, and his personality are used by God to spread Christianity throughout Asia Minor and Europe. He truly fulfills Anaias’ prophecy concerning him as Paul will witness before kings, civic leaders, and military commanders across the Mediterranean world. He becomes an unapologetic spokesperson for the Lord Jesus Christ.

The conversion Saul experienced, while dramatic, is not unique. Millions of people throughout the last two millennia have come to determine that Jesus Christ truly is God’s Messiah, the only way to eternal life. No matter how hostile or how angry a person may be towards Jesus, there is always hope for them. God continues to call men and women from all temperaments, all backgrounds, and all personalities through the Holy Spirit to Himself.

There are times when the Holy Spirit gently persuades men and women of the truth about Jesus Christ. There are other times when He uses very dramatic methods. Some people, like Saul, have a great desire to worship God but their idea of how to worship Him is flawed. In His graciousness, God takes measures to correct their thinking, revealing to them the proper way to worship. Other people have no idea of how to worship Him at all, like the Samaritan woman. They have given up in despair of finding a relationship with God. Gently, the Holy Spirit draws them to Jesus Christ, restoring hope to their lives. God knows what each person’s personality is like. He knows the backgrounds they come from. He understands the questions, objections, and longings that fill each of us because He made us to worship Him. He continues to draw us so that we can come into a relationship with Him that enables us to worship Him properly.

Both Jie Li and Saul stand as examples that no one is beyond the reach of God. There is no person who is too bad or who has done too much wrong for God to reach and draw into a personal relationship with Himself. In the words of Saul,

“This is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the chief.”[4]

If God can save someone like Saul, a murderous fanatic, or Jie Li, an underworld crime boss, then He can save anyone. This gives everyone of us hope and a reason to celebrate.

[1] Warren Wiersbe, The Integrity Crisis

[2] Acts 9:4

[3] Acts 22:14-16

[4] 1 Timothy 1:15

A Heart Hungry To Worship Part 8

/ taethne

All men can be criminals, if tempted; all men can be heroes, if inspired.[1] 

Chapter 7

Jie Li’s Story

Jie Li and I have been friends ever since a visit I made to his country almost a decade ago. Introduced by a mutual friend, we found we had common interests and a bond formed between us. Our families have grown close over the years and he shared his story with me. That story, which I relate here, shows the lengths to which God’s Spirit will go to draw a person to the Lord Jesus.

Jie Li was a bad man. Even in the world of organized crime, where there are many bad people, Jie Li stands out. He rose through the ranks, eventually ending up in the number two position in his crime syndicate, which was among the most powerful in his country. Jie Li tolerated no weaknesses in his men, brooked no argument with his commands. He ruled with an iron fist, both at work and at home.

Jie Li often used physical force to batter his long-suffering wife. When not employing physical abuse, verbal and emotional abuse took center stage. His wife, a very pretty and hard working woman, was an embarrassment to him because she was a Christian. Jie Li believed Christianity was a crutch, not needed by those who had self-confidence, power, and determination. “A religion for superstitious old ladies,” he had once called it. Her refusal to stop attending services on Sundays, despite his increasing punishments, was a constant source of irritation to him. Her being a Christian also brought unwanted scrutiny from the government, as Christianity is viewed as a subversive influence in their country.

Jie Li would come to change his mind about the Christian faith through a dramatic series of occurrences. He awoke one morning and found that he could barely see. Everything appeared as vague, blurry shapes in a dark room. Jie Li went to many specialists but they were unable to diagnose what was happening or how to treat it. Over the next few weeks, his vision continued to deteriorate. His wife urged him to come to her church and have the members pray for his healing, but he refused. Finally, though, Jie Li was desperate enough to give prayer a try. In his profession, showing weakness was dangerous, as many people in his organization would seek to exploit it and usurp him from his position. He knew this first hand, because it was exactly how he had risen through the ranks, himself.

One Sunday he humbled himself enough to accompany his wife to a service at her church. Sure enough, the congregation consisted of mostly old women. Still, they gathered around him, laid hands on his head, and prayed. Jie Li felt embarrassed as well as skeptical but, at this point, he was ready to go anywhere that held out hope for a cure.

The next morning his eyesight was back to normal. As he exclaimed his surprise, his wife was overjoyed. She counseled him, telling him that since God had healed him, he needed to not only thank God, but to serve Him. She told him that God had proven His power and that Jie Li needed to become a Christian.

Jie Li was grateful to her God, but not willing to become a follower of Christ. He did relax his prohibitions against her going to church and started treating her nicer. It was the least he could do.

Months passed by and then, one morning, Jie Li awoke to total darkness. Unlike his earlier eye problems, this time he was completely blind. He panicked, knowing that there was no way to hide this ailment for very long. His wife scolded him, saying that this was God’s punishment for his stubborn refusal to become a follower. “God has withdrawn His blessings,” she said, “Because you did not give your life to Him after He showed Himself to you.”

Jie Li went to all the specialists again. Once again, they had no answers. In desperation, he asked his wife if she would petition her church for another prayer session. She surprised him by refusing. She said that she was worried. “Worried about what,” he asked? She replied that she was worried that if her church prayed and God healed him again, that he would once again refuse to become a Christian. She was afraid that God would then get angry and kill him for his stubbornness. “I would rather have a blind husband than a dead one.”

Jie Li knew from the tone of her voice that his wife was completely serious. After a few more days of agonizing, he told her that if her God healed him that he would become a Christian. It took a while to convince her that he was being completely serious. God’s Spirit had completely broken his hard heart, had shown him how helpless he was to control his own destiny, and held out an invitation to submit to God’s rule in his life. Jie Li was ready to worship a God he had ridiculed for years.

Once again, the church gathered and prayed for Jie Li. Once again, God answered their prayers. Jie Li regained his sight and, true to his word, he became a follower of Christ. His life completely changed. He became a loving husband and a good father. He left organized crime and became an evangelist, giving up a life of prestige and power to travel around the country sharing the life-changing gospel of Jesus Christ.

Jie Li started many churches with his wife serving faithfully alongside him. The number of lives impacted by this couple are too numerous to count. Jie Li’s heart worships God, just as God intended it to worship, thanks to the wonderful grace and mercy of God extended by the Holy Spirit to a man who was as bad as they come. 

There is a man in the Bible who was quite bad, also. Saul was a person who was a very dangerous man. He was not above using physical force, punishments, and other methods to enforce his will. The Holy Spirit drew Saul to God in a similar manner to how He drew Jie Li. You can find the story in the Acts of the Apostles, chapters 8 and 9.

[1] G.K. Chesterton, Heretics

A Heart Hungry To Worship Part 7

/ taethne

I have come to know a God whose Son made prodigals the heroes of His stories and the trophies of His ministry.[1]

Chapter 6

The Prodigal’s Story

Jesus told a story of a young man that many people consider one of the greatest short stories of all time. It’s very familiar to many people because it is included in several high school literature books as well as the New Testament. Many of us can identify with one or more of the main characters. If you’re not familiar with this story, please take the time now to read it.

It seems that this ordinary family, a family that, while not rich, certainly was financially comfortable. The father and his two boys worked the family business, which had become profitable. One of the brothers worked diligently, if not happily, doing his duty. The younger brother worked resentfully, thinking it beneath his station in life.

Tiring of the daily toil, he demanded that his father give him the share of the inheritance he would receive after his father’s death. In those days, the custom was that the eldest brother would receive a double share and ownership of the business. Perhaps there was conflict between the siblings – the last part of the story hints at this. Maybe the older brother continually reminded his younger brother that he would one-day work for him. We don’t know what precipitated the demand from the youngest son but it occurred.

The audience that Jesus told the story to was shocked. In their society, this was a grievous affront, a huge sign of disrespect. It was as if the young man had said, “I cannot wait for you to die. Give me my share of your money right now. That’s all I want from you.” His words show not only greed, but also a complete sense of selfishness and disloyalty to his family. He wants to get away from them so bad that he doesn’t even plan to return for his father’s funeral or the reading of his will. He wants what is his and to rid himself of all ties to his family.

Instead of arguing with his son, the father accedes to the demand. He gives his son the money and watches him walk away. He sees his son leave behind his family, his heritage, and his faith. The father longs and hopes that his son will return, but knows it will take a change of heart for that to happen. He keeps watch for that day, praying that God will draw him back one day, someway, somehow.

So many families can relate to this portrayal. Many parents have helplessly watched their child sever ties with them and all for which they stand. They’ve seen their child reject their values and the faith they instilled in them. Many parents hear harsh and rash words spoken by a child storming off, leaving them watching and hoping for their safe return. Like Renaldo going off on his own, leaving behind the faith of his grandmother and her home, this prodigal abandons his father’s house.

The young man decides that since he is out from under the oppressive rule of his father, he’ll live his life as he has always dreamed of living it. Immediately, he goes to the big city, a place where the action is. No more denying his desires; now, he will fulfill his every longing. He finds friends easily; at least, the kind money can buy. He lives a wild life of pleasure and partying. He’s the master of his destiny; he’s charting his own course in life. The story doesn’t tell us how long his life went on like this.  It apparently was long enough so that his family thought he was dead. Eventually, of course, his money runs out. When that occurs, the young man begins to realize just who his true friends are – no one.

He is alone in the city. He has no relatives, no friends, and no income. His prospects for employment are limited by the fact that he doesn’t have a place of his own and by his limited skills. He grew up in a rural setting. He underwent no training in any area where he might find an apprenticeship. His work ethic and lifestyle were not likely to garner anyone taking a chance on hiring him. Added to that, the entire country was in the midst of a famine. For an agrarian society, this would have sent the country into a deep recession, if not an outright depression. There were no jobs available. In desperation, he took the only job for which he is qualified – feeding animals on a farm. It is amazing (and ironic) how taking control of his own life led him to one that was eerily similar to the one he’d left behind.

So many people fail to realize that changing locations in order to start over will not help them if they don’t change too. A person brings their baggage with them to a new location and soon their new life becomes just as miserable as the one they left behind. This young man’s destiny, the course of life he has charted, has just shipwrecked itself on an island of despair.

There is very little food to eat, because of the famine. What livestock are left have become valuable. Animals such as pigs, which eat almost anything, are very valuable, much more so than the hired servant who feeds them. The animals feed first, then the servants. Very soon, he realizes that he has hit rock bottom. He is starving. He has messed his life up beyond his ability to repair the damage. He looks back at his childhood, to the years spent working for his father. The things that he had thought were so terrible now seem so much better than his present circumstances. He also remembers how he left his father. He remembers the words he said, the actions he took. He realizes that in severing all ties with his family he has cut himself off from the one person who might be able to help him. Like Renaldo, he desires to start over again but is not sure how to do it.

Finally, this prodigal decides that he will return home. He knows that he no longer has any claim on his father’s possessions. He realizes that in renouncing his family he has no right to expect them to welcome his return. He does hope that his father will hire him as a servant. At least, he figures, he will not starve to death. He knows how his father treats his hired hands, their wages, and their living conditions. It’s far better than where he finds himself at present.  Steeling his resolve, he sets out for home.

The Scriptures tell us that while the prodigal was still a long way off, his father spied him trudging down the road. The father’s love for his son hasn’t diminished. Though his son’s actions deeply hurt him, his love never wavered. He runs to his son, wraps his arms around him and kisses him.

The prodigal is deeply ashamed of himself. He is ashamed of all he has done. In humility, he tells his father, “I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.”[2] His father, though, gives him a new change of clothes, a ring identifying him as a member of the family and orders a feast prepared. He is restoring his son to the family.

The prodigal will have to live with the consequences of his actions. He cannot erase the past. He no longer has a share of the inheritance. What he has, though, is a restored relationship with his father.

The prodigal and Renaldo share some things. Both of them left a good, stable home. Both Renaldo and the prodigal wanted to experience all that life had to offer, free of restraints. Both of them found that their lives did not turn out the way that they had planned. The prodigal found he was stranded in another country, starving and bankrupt. Renaldo found himself with two failed marriages and no ability to keep a steady job. Both of them realized they messed up their lives and couldn’t do anything to extricate them from where they were.

The Holy Spirit sometimes must completely break a person before they will acknowledge that they need help. This was the case with Renaldo and the prodigal. The Holy Spirit arranged circumstances in both lives to draw them into a relationship. The Holy Spirit acts and the prodigal is restored to his father; Renaldo, to God the Father.

Lance also had to be broken by the Holy Spirit. His heart, who felt no regret for using and taking advantage of people, had to be changed. When Lance repented and asked for forgiveness, he found it and his relationship with both God and the church restored.

The Spirit continues to use circumstances to draw people’s hearts to worship God. It would be a shame if He has to go to the lengths with you as He did with the prodigal. It is comforting, though, to know that He will go that far to bring you into a relationship with God the Father. How far away, from God, are you right now? How out of control is your life? Is it beyond your ability to fix? What is keeping you from turning your life over to God right now by receiving Jesus Christ as your Savior?

[1] Philip Yancy, What Good is God?: In Search of a Faith That Matters

[2] Luke 15:21

A Heart Hungry To Worship Part 6

/ taethne

“Dear God, 
I am so afraid to open my clenched fists! 
Who will I be when I have nothing left to hold on to? 
Who will I be when I stand before you with empty hands? 
Please help me to gradually open my hands 
and to discover that I am not what I own, 
but what you want to give me.”[1]

Chapter 5

Renaldo and Lance’s Stories

            Renaldo rode his bicycle to work, head down against the brisk, chill wind. He mentally beat himself up for driving with a suspended license the week before. It certainly was stupid, but it beat biking to work in the winter. If only he had paid more attention to the cop who was behind him, maybe he wouldn’t be freezing this morning.

            Renaldo was very good at his construction job, which was the only reason his boss kept him on. He had numerous run-ins with the law; DUI’s, fights in bars, drunk and disorderly conduct, etc. When sober, Renaldo did great work; his skills at carpentry and mason work were second-to-none. When he drank, it was a different story.

            Twice married, he was involved in an on-again, off-again relationship with a girl he had dated back in high school, twenty years earlier. The relationship was off now and instead of living at her house, Renaldo had only a little camper that he pulled with his pick-up. 

While he loved construction work, most places in town wouldn’t employ him anymore. Too many work days missed because he was in jail for something or other (most times he couldn’t remember what he was charged with) too many fights with co-workers after hours;  all of these things limited the number of companies which were willing to hire him. His current employer used him on only the most difficult jobs, on a contract basis.

Renaldo reflected on his life as he rode. He wondered how it had turned out this way. He remembered his grandmother; she had passed away last year and he still missed her, terribly. She had raised him from the age of four until he had dropped out of high school and married at sixteen.

“If ever there was a saint,” he mused, “It was grandmother.” She had made sure to take him with her to church and Sunday School every week. He remembered how he had chafed as a teenager, sitting on those hard wood benches as the preacher droned on and on in a monotone voice. Something must have stuck with him, though. He could still remember songs from Sunday School, making crafts at the summer Bible School and somewhere in his camper was the little New Testament he received as a prize for memorizing Scripture verses.

He thought of his grandmother’s last few days. He sat in her room at the nursing home for a week straight, afraid that if he left even for a little while that she would die before he returned. He also thought of the young pastor, about his age, which had spent almost as much time with her as he had. It was obvious that he was close to her as well. Renaldo remembered his grandmother’s last night. Weakly, but distinctly, he heard her say the words to her favorite hymn repeatedly.

He also remembered that he had promised her that he would go back to church. It was time, he resolved, to keep his promise. He would go to his grandmother’s church to honor her memory. Renaldo hoped it would not be as boring as he remembered.

The next Sunday Renaldo showed up for the morning service. He wore his best clothes – jeans that were not too faded and a shirt he had picked up at the Salvation Army thrift store. He felt out of place at first, but then he saw many older people whom he remembered as his grandmother’s friends. He even saw his old Sunday School teacher, who not only remembered him but also welcomed him warmly and invited him to sit next to her.

The thing that struck him the most about the service was the sermon. The pastor was not boring. In fact, he talked about the struggles various people encountered in life and how the Bible talked about Jesus’ promise to be with his followers through their struggles. He was surprised to hear this, since he thought Christians didn’t have (or weren’t supposed to have) problems.

After the service, the pastor asked him how he was doing and expressed how much he missed Renaldo’s grandmother. Before he realized it, Renaldo accepted an invitation to dinner with the pastor’s family later in the week. “Great,” he thought, “He will badger me about Jesus and stuff.” Still, a promise was a promise and Renaldo did his best to keep his promises.

At dinner that Thursday night, Renaldo was surprised to find he was having fun. The pastor’s wife had fixed a simple meal but to Renaldo it tasted better than what he usually heated up on his camp stove. It turned out that the family played board games at suppertime and Renaldo was invited to play with them. After supper, the kids went off to do their chores while the pastor and Renaldo sat on the porch with coffee.

“Here it comes,” he thought, “Now is the time for the Jesus speech.” Instead, the pastor shared his memories of his grandmother and Renaldo responded with his own. As the evening ended, the pastor invited Roberto to drop by anytime he needed to talk, wanted a home-cooked meal or just to hang out. As they walked to the door, the pastor told Renaldo that his grandmother had prayed for him every day. “Every day she prayed you would come back to church. I believe she is very happy to see you come back as she watches from heaven.”

Renaldo lay in his camper that night and decided that he’d go back to church on Sunday. The people were nice, no one looked down on him and he really liked how the pastor’s family treated him. If that is how Christians acted, maybe becoming one wasn’t such a bad thing after all. He would have to give it some serious thought.

As the months went by, Renaldo continued to attend the services at the church. Various members of the church hired him to do construction work on the side, which really helped him to financially get ahead a little bit. He volunteered to help with the sound system, as it allowed him to attend services but keep his distance by being sequestered in the sound room. A church leader even asked him to participate in church activities, to help chaperone some teenage boys on a trip. At first, he protested, saying he wouldn’t be a good role model because of the troubles in his past. They told him that was exactly what would make a good chaperone. With him on guard, none of the kids would be able to get by with anything because he already knew all the tricks. Little by little, Renaldo was drawn into the life of the church.

Slowly, Renaldo came to realize that more than anything, he wanted a life like the people in the church, and one like his grandmother had lived. One Sunday morning he surprised himself by walking up to the pastor and saying, “I am ready to stop running my life my way. All I do is mess it up. I want Jesus to take control of it.”

Renaldo had finally found what he had been searching for in his life. God had drawn Renaldo and his life would never be the same. I know this, because I was the young pastor that ministered to Renaldo.

While he still has a way to go in dealing with the consequences of his past actions, Renaldo does not have to face them alone anymore. The Holy Spirit continues to draw Renaldo into a closer relationship with God, who cares about him, and a closer relationship with a church family who is willing to help.

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Lance was a long-time member of our church. He had been there years prior to my becoming pastor, though much about him remained a mystery. Lance would attend for a few weeks and then disappear for months at a time. When he showed back up, he was always living at a different address and recently employed at either a menial job or unemployed.

For years, the church had been generous to Lance. Both corporately and individually, the church members helped him financially, found jobs for him and even bought him furniture and food. He was always appreciative and grateful. Lance promised each time to repay those who had helped him, but no one ever expected him to. It seemed that he was just one of those people, who tried hard, but could never get ahead. Everyone liked him, but no one really knew anything about Lance. He kept his personal life private, even though many people made the effort to get to know him better.

One fall, Lance attended a series of revival services at church. The Holy Spirit did a mighty work on him that evening. Lance stood in the back, tears running down his face during the closing song. Before the service could end, he came to the front of the sanctuary and asked if he could address the church for a few minutes. The story he shared with us that night stunned everyone in the building.

Lance confessed to the church that he had been scamming them for years. He was actually pretty well off, financially. The reason for his disappearances for weeks at a time was that he went to Alaska and Canada to work. Sometimes, he would work on fishing vessels, other times in the oil fields. He confessed that he made very good money. In between jobs, he would come back home and rent a place to live by the week. While he didn’t need money, he said that it was just so easy to ask the church for help, knowing that they would oblige. The money and food he kept, furniture and other clothes he sold for even more money.

Lance went on to say that until that night, he had never felt a minute of regret for taking advantage of the church’s generosity. He went on to say that he was sorry, that God’s Spirit had convicted him of his thieving and lying, and that he had asked forgiveness from God. Now, he was wondering, could the church forgive him?

There was a silence across the congregation for almost a full minute as his words sunk in. One could see people struggling to process what they had just heard. Finally, hemmed in by people on both sides of his seat, Doug rose up. He had given Lance a lot of money over the years.  Not waiting for those around him to let him out of the row, Doug climbed over the pews and made his way forward. Lance visibly flinched, expecting the worse. Instead, he found the best.

Grabbing him in a hug, Doug publically forgave him. He rejoiced that God had reached Lance’s heart and changed it. The rest of the church was not far behind. Lance experienced the cleansing power of forgiveness that night. He was welcomed into the fellowship of his church family again. His heart became free to worship God, as the bonds of his sinful actions were broken. He was drawn back to God by the convicting power of the Holy Spirit, much like the famous story of the Prodigal Son, found in Luke, chapter 15.

[1] Henry Nouwen, The Only Necessary Thing: Living a Praying Life